I recently did a talk at an event where I shared my story of how I made a mistake and got myself into a very difficult personal relationship. The mistake was that I had not listened to my higher self, my intuition, ie my feelings, and I had carried on, logically finding my way through the fog that uncertainty brings. The choice I needed to make in order to bring an end to this relationship was such that I knew others would be hurt. I avoided making that choice for quite some time.
During this unahappy period of my life I had kept it a secret, I hadn’t spoken to anyone about it. This was partly due to loyalty but a big part of it was feeling stupid, as in “I should have known … seen the signs … not let myself be x y or z”.
After the talk, I had a conversation with someone who had been in a similar situation and who also had found it difficult to speak to anyone about it. “I didn’t even tell my Dad”.
It’s hard to admit that we are in emotional pain or in a situation which we perceive as our own fault sometimes. When we do take courage and share ourselves with another, we can begin to come back to ourselves and clear the fog by identifying our feelings and our true selves..
Whether it is a close friend, a stranger or a professional, there is an incredible power in hearing ourselves speak of our circumstances, feelings or fears to another.
There is nothing unwell or wrong about asking for help. The recent statements by our HRH The Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry raising awareness of the issues around mental health have highlighted that it can be an issue for anyone, even the seemingly privileged.
Getting to therapy can be hard, picking up the phone and saying “I have a problem and I need help” is in some ways the hardest bit. People who do that are well in that they have admitted it to themselves, taken the brave step of sharing it with another and are on the first step to recovery.
It’s ok to not be ok.